Whenever we talk to people, we hope that what they are telling us is the truth. We don't want to have to go through their words and analyze everything their saying. However, this is often the case when you are talking to people. People lie. Not all of them, and not all the time, but they lie enough to make your life difficult at times.
This is especially true when you are at work or when you are trying to make deals for your future. Whenever possible, you really don't want to be lied to and you don't want to fall for tricks. This is why these tips are so important when it comes to helping you realize if and when someone is lying to you.
1. People Distance Themselves from the Truth
When people decide to lie to you, they will try to move as far away from the actual truth as possible. If you pay close attention to the way they are speaking to you, you will notice this almost right away. And when you do notice this happening, you should have alarm bells going off in your ahead.
For example, instead of saying "I gave her my book," they would say, "She has my book." Pay attention to these small things that are happening simultaneously when people are talking to you about a topic, and try to bring them closer to the subject to find the truth.
2. Liars Try to Defend Themselves All the Time
No one likes to be accused of lying, and surprisingly, liars are actually the people who hate to be accused of lying the most. Whenever they find themselves in a situation where another person is questioning their truth, they will have a very loud reaction where they will try to defend themselves at all costs.
They will try to come up with as many alibis as possible and as many different excuses for why they could not possibly be lying to you. This is actually one of the fastest ways to tell if someone is lying to you because it will be very obvious when someone is trying to go off on the defensive.
3. Liars Stick to Chronology
When someone who is telling the truth start to recount a story, they will focus on the emotions of the story. They will talk about the elements of the story that moved them the most and the images that they remember the most. On the other hand, liars will not do this.
Liars will try to tell the story in as much detail as possible, and will not focus on the emotions of the story at all. This is because they are afraid that someone will at one point be able to tell that they are not telling the story in a way that sounds believable.
4. They Will Place and Object Between You
Remember, a liar is trying to defend themselves. One of the most uncomfortable feelings in life is to be discovered in your own lies. It ruins the trust that people have in you forever, and it can cause even long-lasting relationships to fall apart.
Psychologically, a liar will place objects between you in order to feel safer and more comfortable in the environment that they have placed themselves in. If you notice this happening, and you are already suspecting someone of lying, then you are probably right.
5. Very Long Introductions
This is another way that liars try to defend themselves in their own mistakes. Very long introductions before getting to the point of their story actually have a number of logical reasons behind them. When someone is trying to give you a long introduction of what happened, it means that they are trying to set you off course.
They want to make you focus on things that are not actually important, in the hopes that you will not notices parts of the story that actually don't make much sense. They want you to be impressed with other aspects of what may or may not have happened.
6. Gestures and Words Don't Line Up
This is a little more difficult to spot if you don't have a lot of experience with liars or their way of talking. When someone is telling the truth, their entire body will be in line with what they are saying because this is the body's natural reaction to what is happening.
On the other hand, when someone is trying to lie to you, then different parts of the body will be focusing on different things. Most importantly, your brain will be trying to come up with ways to make the lie work, and will not have time to focus on the rest of the body.
7. Suddenly Things are Gloomy
A liar will often forget crucial aspects of a story and suddenly not be able to remember it. For example, if you are talking to a liar and they suddenly can't remember what time of day something happened, then they are probably lying to you.
This is because they are trying to make it seem like they are bringing a level of neutrality to their story, when in fact they want to leave empty spaces for future lies if they need to be added to what they have already said.
8. They Will Contradict Themselves
First it's one way and then it's another. A bad liar will not be able to keep up with their own story, especially if you have managed to get them at a point when they were not yet able to prepare a full story for what happened to them.
As they tell you their lies, if you notice that there are contradictions coming up in their story, it means that they are likely lying to you. You can either ask them more questions, or you can let them tangled themselves up in their own lies.
9. Too Much Info About Irrelevant Things
This is another tactic that will help them to get as far away from the actual point as possible. Anything that a liar can do to get away from the truth, they will absolutely do. One of these things is to add as many unnecessary details to their lies as possible.
They will add things that no one cares about, and even more smaller lies to try and bring you off course from the fact that they are lying to you. The best way to protect yourself is to closely follow what they are saying.
10. They Touch Their Face A Lot
When people are nervous, they will often feel a tingling sensation across their skin - especially their face. This is because they will be sweating due to the nervousness that they have already caused for themselves.
If you notice someone touching their face a lot more than you would normally expect them to, there is a high possibility that they may be lying to you. Especially if they are touching their mouth, nose, and ears. Because these are the areas that will become the most sensitive when a person is nervous.
11. Pursing Lips
Pursing lips are often the sign of anger. People are often angry or irritated when they are put on the spot to sort something out or to prove themselves as truth-tellers. They will do this very often without even realizing it.
If you are talking to someone who is likely lying to you and you notice that their lips are often very pursed, there is a high chance that they are lying to you. In fact, they are probably waiting for the entire conversation to be over, so that they can leave this uncomfortable environment.
12. Liars Don't Know How to Say No
When someone accuses you of doing something that you haven't done, you would deny the allegations very quickly. You would not focus on anything else other than providing a firm No as an answer. However, liars are not like this.
When someone accuses a liar of not telling the truth, the liar will provide the listener with a very specific denial. Instead of simply saying that they did not do something, they will simply add more information to try and stop the listener from believing that they did something wrong.
13. The Pupils Will Dilate
Luckily, the body has many ways of its own to show you if someone has decided to lie to you. One of the best way to notice this is if the liar's pupils are dilated. This is a natural bodily reaction which cannot be controlled by the person.
This is part of the body's way to react to the stress that theliar has placed it under. The pupils will dilate and remain dilated for as the liar continues to be put undress stress, so pay attention to the eyes.
14. Your Own Words Against You
Because there are so many different things that a liar must take into account, they will eventually run out of words to speak. It's not that they cannot come up with new lies, it's that every new lie will make the situation even more dangerous for them.
In order to deal with this problem, the liar will often use your own words in their response. For example, if you ask some, "Did you steal my lunch today?" they will reply "No, I did not steal your lunch today."
15. Crossed Arms
This is another defence mechanism. Also, the way that a liar crosses their arms is very different to the way that someone who is cold would cross their arms to warm up their torso a little bit. If the crossed arms look like they are a method of defence, you can be sure that there is something wrong going on in your conversation.
The best way to use the idea of crossed arms to tell if someone is lying to you is to combine this hint with some of the other things that we've mentioned when it comes to liars and their behavior.
16. Watch the Blinking
This is another one of those things that are not easy to spot if you have not worked with liars before. However, it is always good to keep it in mind. It may sound difficult that you will be able to tell whether or not someone is lying to you with the way they are blinking, but there is a logic behind it.
When someone is telling a lie, they will not blink, because they are concentrating on what they are saying. Then, after the lie has been said, they will blink rapidly to relieve their body of the stress that has piled up.
17. Higher Voice Pitch
Another way for the body to react to stress is to increase the pitch of the person's voice. This is not a defense mechanism as much as it is a reaction to a sense of panic. Similar to the way that some people will scream when they are afraid.
If you notice that a liar's voice has gone up, it could be a sign that their body is starting to panic with all the lies that have been released from them. Keep this in mind when you listen to them speak.
18. A Liar Will Run from You
Liars, understandably, don't like to be in their uncomfortable situation any longer than needed. It's a lot of pressure to have to control every move you make and everything you say, which is why many liars will try to get out of this uncomfortable environment as soon as possible.
They will cut the conversation short, they will place a large distance between you, and they will even avoid meeting you for as long as possible - hoping that you will eventually give up on seeking the truth.
19. No Deuchenne Smile
Liars smile differently when they are lying or when they have found themselves in an uncomfortable situation. Usually, when an honest person laughs, you will notice that their eyes will also smile with them. The eyes squint along with the smile. This is called a Duchenne smile.
However, a liar is not able to do this. Even if they do try to smile, their eyes will not be able to reproduce the same effect. In these cases, you will notice that their eyes stayed in a relatively neutral position.
20. No Contractions Used
In an effort to make everything seem longer and more truthful, this is another tactic that some liars will use to make their story sound more believable. People who are honest will usually talk in a very natural, relaxed way, and will often used contractions. On the contrary,a liar will not.
Because there are so many different thoughts going on in their head, a liar will try to extend their words as much as possible. So, for example, they will say "I did not," instead of "I didn't."
21. A Liar Will Likely Stutter
This is another logical thing that will happen to a person who is lying. You will notice that they will often pause and stutter on their words. After all, it is very difficult to keep it together when you know that you are not telling the truth.
You will also notice many sounds which are there to prolong the dialogue, such as "uhmmm..." Pay special attention to these small things, because they are one of the quickest ways to determine if someone is unsure in their own story.
22. A Partial Shrug
This is another one of those things that you would not think to pay attention to when dealing with a liar. Usually, when an honest person shrugs their shoulders in a sign that they do not know something, the shoulders will shrug to the same height.
Bizarrely, research has shown that when a liar shrugs, their shoulders will not be symmetrical. This will not often be something that you will pay special attention to, but it is good to know that if this is happening often, the person could be lying to you.
23. Saying Things They Weren't Asked
When someone is lying to you, the conversation will no longer run smoothly. In fact, you will notice that there are many unnecessary things that are being said and done that you neither asked for nor want to hear about.
A liar will try to move you away from the topic of the conversation as much as possible and get you to talk about something else that they don't have to lie about. This will allow them to relax a little and not have to constantly come up with new stories.
24. Too Much Eye Contact
A liar will look at you - a lot. In fact,they will stare at you to the point where things are going to feel a little weird. But there is a logical reason for why they are doing this. They are trying to figure out whether or not you've caught them in their lie.
Because you are the person who is reacting to their lies, they are looking at your reactions, your response, and your own body position to figure out whether or not you have caught them in their own lies.
25. And Then Won't Look at You
This is why it is not as easy to spot a liar as you may think. You have to be able to distinguish between the times when a liar is starting at you to check your reaction, and then the times when they are looking away because they are ashamed to look you in the eyes.
Generally, I liar will look away when they reach a point where they feel very uncomfortable about their own ability to lie. In these cases, the liar will not look at you, but will instead try to compose their own thoughts by looking somewhere else.
26. Swallowing or Clearing Their Throat
This is another element of their own lies which will lead them to react by coughing or swallowing. This is not something that they are doing on purpose, but they simply cannot help themselves because their body is panicking.
This panic is expressed by either throat becoming too dry, or by the mouth producing too much saliva. You will notice these things happening together with some of the other signs of panic and discomfort as they talk to you.
27. A Desire to Shut You Down
Some liars take a very aggressive approach when it comes to their defence strategy. In fact, some will go as far as trying to shut down everything that you as a listener will have to say. They may even want to make you feel like you are the one at fault.
This is a very uncomfortable position for both of you to be in, and it is best to leave the conversation as soon as possible before things get too aggressive. Don't try to rile them up further, because you will only receive an argument and not the truth.
28. Excessive Sweating
When people are very nervous, they will start to sweat. This is also part of the body's reaction to panic and discomfort, and there is nothing that a liar can do to stop this from happening. Someone who is having an honest conversation will have no reason suddenly sweat in the middle of the conversation.
Look for signs of excessive sweating in the areas of the forehead and above the mouth. It will not look like the kind of sweat that someone will get after an exercise.
29. Pay Attention to Their Posture
We all sit very differently, and we especially sit differently depending on what kind of situation we are being placed in. However, when it comes to the body reacting to the environment, there are certainly thing that bring us all together and make us look more alike. Lying Is one of those things that makes us all look similar when our bodies start to react to the environment.
For example, someone who is lying will likely try to hide their body in some way. You will often notice that they will sit in a hunched position, and will also use their hand to cover their abdomen. This is an evolutionary defence position because the abdomen is a very sensitive area. You will also notice that a liar will often cross their legs and hide their face with their hands.
30. Watch How Quickly They Move
This movement does not only refer to their whole body moving - although this is also something that you should pay attention to as much as possible. Like we mentioned before, when someone is lying they find themselves in a very uncomfortable situation. It is also a situation from which they want to run from as soon as possible. Because of this discomfort, the body will react in different ways to help the liar cope with what they are saying.
Liars will often do a lot of fidgeting when it comes to their movements. Their skin will itch, they will start to sweat and to feel hot, and they will often become a little confused because of their own lies. All of these things will make they body move all the time and they will not be able to sit still.